[I am preparing for a couple of competitive examinations which has kept me from completing and publishing half-a-dozen half-written posts. I shall have more time to resume regular blogging in a couple of weeks]

We like illusions. Our leaders provide it and our media presents it. The real issues are forgotten. And hence they repeat.

We love it when stereotypes such as Cricket and Bollywood are chosen define us and our identity, because we are too lazy to find out who we are and where we come from. Frankly speaking it’s a hard task, and the resulting truth may not be pleasant, so we have chosen (consciously or otherwise) to outsource it.

Articles such as these attempt to wake us from our state of blissful sleep. But then, we are gifted with a short memory span, so we shall forget this too and go back to our dreams.

Surprised ? Don’t be!

Haven’t you learnt anything at all from the Bollywood or our media ? No ?

Ok, let me guide you on this path of being comfortably numb.

Let’s start with that magic mantra  Aall eej well .

Whenever you feel that something might wake you from your blissful slumber, repeat this mantra a few 100 times. Oh, if you don’t know the advantages of this mantra, here are a few.

• The mantra was discovered by, invented by the great Idiot genius Phusuk Wangdu , aka Rancho, who was played by the great thinking and perfectionist actor Aamir Khan.
• It has the power to breathe life into the new born baby which until then was acting as if it was still-born.
• you don’t have to worry about someone labelling you as communal, because the mantra is secular and liberal, unlike the pagan mantras such as the Ramaraksha Stotra or the Hanuman Chalisa.

Similarly, there are several other things which have been provided to us by the great culture of bollywood, such as

• Jadoo ki Jhappi, which automatically causes any form of tension or suffering to melt away taking the recipient to a state total forgiveness.
• Ass-licking-Gandhigiri, where you smile at someone’s repeated mistakes and cover it up, which grants an instant enlightenment to the person making those mistakes.
• Aman-ki-Asha, which follows the golden principle of “If you want to be at a somewhere, act as if you’re already there”. In this particular case, it doesn’t matter whether there exist conditions for peace between the two neighbouring countries or not. Reality doesn’t matter. What matters is how well do we portray that the peace exists. Again, this is easily achieved by having artistes from across the border perform here.
• Rang-de-basanti revolution: When something bad happens,

1. Organize candle-light night-outs.
2. When 1 fails to yield results, just shoot the god-damn person who’s responsible for it.

• Doubt: What about taking the constitutional approach and trying to bring the person to justice ?
• Answer: That would require brains, patience and vigour. We don’t have these as we are dumb, impatient and impotent. So, the only way to bliss is through the path mentioned above.

There are many more such great plots and devices that the culture of Bollywood has bestowed upon us which can help you forget the reality and transport you to the la-la land, where like they say, gham bhi na ho, aasoo bhi na ho, bas pyaar hi pyaar pale:

• Where of course, Pakistan is a great neighbour. So, to hell with all the tensions which are unnecessarily created by the warmongering people on this side of the fence.
• Where Kasab is not Kasab the terrorist, but an aspiring actor who was mistaken for his screen performance. Feed him his Biriyani. He needs to look good.
• Where the member of one community pleaded the original inhabitants of the place belonging  another community to leave the place. That’s the reason why a certain community’s population has drastically decreased in the valley of Kashmir.
• Where one may not be able to afford basic commodities like sugar or dal due to exorbitant prices, but one automatically become satisfied when the prince tours the metropolis in a local train like a common man, despite the fact that several thousands of rupees worth tax-payers money was spent on his security.
• Where the truth in any field is decided by judging the opinions of any popular personality, whether the personality has any expertise in that field or not. Oh, BTW,  the phrase used to refer to this pramana (means of obtaining knowledge) is “Law of Indian Expertise (LIE).“

Long ago, I had studied this subject known as mathematical logic. There was this thing called the implication, which was a statement of the form “If p, then q” where p is the premise and q is the conclusion. Interesting thing about this was that if the premise p is false, whether the derived conclusion is true or false, the statement was considered true. I never really understood how this applies to the real-life.

But now I am able to see it. In the world of illusions, there’s no limit to the number of possibilities. Anything can emanate from anything, and one can consider anything as truth. Doesn’t really matter, because when you are ready to give relevance to a false premise, why would you bother about the conclusions ?

And this is the beauty of it. As you see, you need not be involved. You are dispensable. So you need not worry at all. All that matters are acts. Like that circular ring which appears when you rotate a burning stick in a circular fashion. For our purpose we only have to consider the ring to be real. There are two ways. If you know how to rotate this stick, join us in keeping this illusion alive. Else, just follow the steps mentioned above and you’ll start believing that the illusion is reality.

That’ll help you too to sleep peacefully forever.

[Based on the comment originally posted on Atanu's post "Bomb Blast in Pune"]